13 things men can never take seriously
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Date Posted:
August-24-2010 12:39
25
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Because geez, life’s too short.
13. Any instrument that doesn’t plug into an amp
Look, if it can’t blow you backwards through the wall, like at the beginning of Back To The Future, you might as well be masturbating with your feet.
12. Anyone else’s opinion on sport
Brazil to win the World Cup? Come off it. You may well be their former coach, a professor in sports science and have correctly predicted every World Cup winner since 1930, but you’re clearly wrong. It’s Slovakia’s year, dude.
11. Shopping centre security guards
Sure, they can radio the real ones with the dogs and the guns for back-up. But they’re all old and lame. And they’ve had what – three days’ training? We’ve spent years training to be this much of an idiot.
10. Eastern Europeans’ dress sense
Lurid 1980s sportswear plus heavy leather coats and snow-washed denim: it’s like a football hooligan, protection mobster and gang rapist all rolled into one. It’d be funnier if they weren’t bagging six-foot tall supermodels and earning much, much more than us.
9. Emergency training
In-flight safety videos? Hmm – think we’ll flick pointlessly through The Sun Herald instead. Office fire drill? Perfect opportunity to check out the talent on other floors. You have to wear goggles for paintballing? Sorry: was too busy quoting Predator in an Arnie voice. But stub a toe on the photocopier? Time for a hefty compensation claim, pronto…
8. Women’s magazines
Not that we read them or anything. Well, okay, occasionally we’ll flick through to have a look at the pictures, but that’s it. Yes, that real-life story about the woman with six nipples was quite gripping, but we really only had a cursory glance... Oh Christ, we know! What was SJP wearing? Those shoes with that poncho? WTF?
Recommended alcohol intake, washing instructions and more laughable matters...