An open letter to John Mayer
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Date Posted:
February-12-2010 12:12
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By Guy Mosel
Dear John,
Now look what you’ve gone and done. We’d just started to like you. We’d just started to see past your twee, girl-friendly pop-rock and look-at-me star-f__kery (bad things), and had begun to acknowledge your not-unsubstantial guitar chops and your position as one of the world’s finest pants-men (good things).
But now what’s this? Dropping the N-bomb? Calling your penis a “white supremacist”? Comparing shagging Jessica Simpson to crack cocaine?
Only you can ever truly know what you were trying to accomplish by saying those things, but from where we sit it smacks of trying way too hard to sound, you know, cool and edgy and shit. And that is a bad thing.
But you could have recovered. You could have admitted you were a bit of a tool, ’fessed up to your douchiness and just gone on rockin’ and rootin’ and being the top bloke we know you can be.
And for a while it looked like you were going to pull it off… until that show on Wednesday night in Nashville, when you broke down and cried.
Come on, man! That shit might play well with your lady-fans, but we are not amused. Copping to a screw-up is manly; having a public weep about it is weak.
Our advice: go on a week-long bender, shag a waitress, buy an incredibly irresponsible vehicle – and don’t tell anyone about it.
That’s another thing men do: they don’t look to be acknowledged for their awesomeness. Awesomeness is its own reward.
Regards,
FHM
What do you think about John Mayer? Moaning, sad-eyed twit or champion bonker and rock god?
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