BLOGS

Guy Mosel

Peaking pluck

Don’t trust those Chinese. Evil, shifty f__kers if you ask me. And as for their illegal occupation of the gentle, peace-loving nation of Tibet, don’t get me started. You want to know what I think? I think we should write a sternly written letter of complaint to the Chinese government, asking them to kindly, if they don’t mind and it’s not terribly much trouble for them, to “show restraint” (that’s UN-speak for “only kill protesters if they’re really, really noisy”) in Tibet.

And we should also think of pulling out of the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games. Seriously. What could send a stronger message than denying Chinese sports fans the sight of 500 mostly unknown people from a country they’ve probably never been to waving toy koalas?

And while we’re on the subject of bold foreign policy decisions, to protest the US’s treatment of Guantanamo Bay detainees we should outlaw the use of the word “dude” on Wednesdays. And we should ban any episodes of Iron Chef featuring Iron Chef Japanese to send the Japanese government a stern warning about whale-butchery.

That’ll show ’em.

Good bloke that Jonesy

Alan Jones had his conviction for his on-air naming of a juvenile in a rape trial quashed today. Judge Michael Finnane said Jones had broken the law, but was a man of “good character” and a “conviction could have an adverse effect on him”. Two points: First, convictions are supposed to have an adverse effect on those they are imposed. They’re f__king convictions. Second, according to Judge Finnane, provided you’re a good bloke, you can commit crimes with no fear of punishment. Stay tuned for a Pat Rafter crime spree.

Think we should stand up to the Chinese over Tibet? Perhaps we could send them Alan Jones? Tell us what you think.