Chris rocks
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Date Posted:
August-2-2010 08:00
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With the American comedic legend Chris Rock releasing a new DVD this month, we felt the urge to remind ourselves of his career to date. Our findings: he’s been doing stand-up for the past 26 years (impressive); he was in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan and Pootie Tang (less impressive); and Time magazine once hailed him as “the funniest man in America” (props).
However, our most exciting discovery was that he also does a fine line in hilarious observations concerning the fairer sex; our favourites are below.
Chris Rock on… arguments
“Men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing, because we have a need to make sense. Women aren’t going to let a little thing like sense f__k up their argument. Because she’s not in it for sense: she’s in it for distance and irritation.”
Watch the video!
Chris Rock on… lies
“Men lie the most; women tell the biggest lies. Men, we lie all the time – we lie so much it’s damn near a language. [But] a man’s lie is like: ‘I was at Tony’s house.’ A woman’s lie is like: ‘It’s your baby.’”
Watch the video!
Chris Rock on… strippers
“The stripper myth is: ‘I’m stripping to pay my tuition.’ No you’re not! There’s no strippers at college! Shit man, I didn’t know they had a college that only took one dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance?”
Watch the video!
Chris Rock on… married life
“Women like to get their husbands together, who don’t even know each other, and have a grown-man play date. Put you in a room with some other married motherf__ker and say: ‘He likes baseball, just like you.’ Honey, I don’t need no new friends. If you want to help me out, introduce me to a girl.”
Watch the video!
Chris Rock: Kill The Messenger ($34.95) is out now.
Related links:
Russell Brand interview
FHM editor Guy Mosel's night of stand-up
FHM editor Guy Mosel's second try