How to get lucky on holidays
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Date Posted:
December-21-2011 16:40
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Note: this doesn’t mean exposing yourself or sunburning the word “penis” into your forehead. Women are often attracted to men who seem popular, so get to know the barmen and banter with the bloke who sells the boat trips.
Ask for help
It’s not your fault that you don’t know where the nearest Frisbee dealership is. Seek a hot girl’s advice and not only will you open the lines of communication in a non-predatory manner, but you’ll also have a perfectly good excuse to invite her and her friends to join the game later.
Don’t talk about work
She’s on holiday to escape, not discuss her feelings on the subject of corporate finance. For a safe start, stick to the four subjects rumoured to be of eternal fascination to women: fashion, shopping, celebrities and relationships. And throw in some literature too.
Trim your toenails and body hair
Not in front of her, obviously, but you know how you expect her to be groomed? Newsflash: it works both ways.
Buy an extra ice-cream
You thought your mate wanted one, but he’s in the sea and it’s melting and rather than see it go to waste… Bingo! Ice broken. Be sure to offer it to the group though, not just the girl that you’ve fallen in love with.
Steer clear of your phone
In ye olde English words of the wisest woman in the office: “He who texts has she who waits back home.”
Smile
Forget about the fact that you hate your job, wheeze when going up stairs and haven’t got laid in months, and act like you are living the dream. Holidays are a time for positivity, and your lady of choice only wants to surround herself with positive people.
DON’T
Slag off the competition Criticising others a) makes her notice them and b) signals that you’re worried about them. Self-consciousness is NOT sexy.
Ask her to settle a betYou’re on holiday, not attending a mate’s post-formal house party. And her yawning is based upon contempt, not a lack of sleep.
Approach her when she has her top off She’s got them out because she wants to get an even tan, not because she wants you to stare at them from close range.
Ask her if she’s on Facebook For three pertinent reasons: it leaves a trail when you get back, you aren’t 12 years old anymore and of course she bloody is.
Intentionally overthrow… …your American football/Frisbee/boomerang
into your chosen group of females. However hilarious you think you are, no-one likes a pest.